For some unknown reason, this part of the year is always somewhat wistful for me. It used to be that the nights of 24th and 31st December would be nights on which I would get rather depressed. Somehow, even though I could be surrounded by many people, those were the nights on which I would feel most………alone. After seeking solace from that loneliness in a multitude of outlets, I finally gave up and resigned myself to accept it.
This year though, is different.
Instead of feeling like I’m drowning in loneliness, in it’s place is a warm and overwhelming gratitude for all my inumerable blessings.
People think that the word “blessings” must neccesarily mean big things like money, career success, love, etc. It is always at this point of the year that people look back on the year and tally up such “blessings”.
They forget about the small things………..the little things that don’t neccesarily improve your life, but instead only make you feel happy to be alive.
The exact shades of reds and yellows of the leaves of the trees that blanket the Hills and mountains of Miyama, Japan. Trying to memorize those colors, hoping to always be able to see them in my mind till the day I die.
The gentle evening breeze that used to leave me feeling cold but now only leaves me feeling less alone somehow.
Being able to celebrate Christmas with marginalized children. Their smiles and unrestrained laughter.
Thank you, God. What a long way you’ve helped me come from the days of feeling that life was not worth living.
Merry Christmas to all in RBKD. Have you counted your blessings?
P.S. I got all your gifts, letters and cards. Thank you so much.
This was originally posted on RBKD’s forum.
Categorised in Bridge.