Because if I do, every other day I would be posting “I LOVE my MUM!!!”, “I LOVE my DAD!!!” and “I LOVE my SIS!!!”.. Occassionally I will throw in “I LOVE my Ahma!!!” or “I LOVE my FRIENDS!!!”.
That’s how boring my personal blog posts would be, that’s why my personal blog is gone with the wind.
I love my family, and friends :D
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I never knew it matters so much to be there for me, even if its by chance. When all the scary drilling sound and that pulling as though your mouth is meant to be ripped apart, I never knew his voice over the radio wave was so calming to my nerves. Dont you marvel at the pure coincidence, that he is always there when I need someone around?
I never they cant be compared. But I just just cant help feeling how much it matters. Never mind, at least she would be there there with me for 4hours this weekend when my face swell like a full blown balloon. Forgiven.
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I dont think its true. So is the nick a dig or what? I guess we all have to learn to accept life, if I will have any. We all have to learn to grow up, and be independent. When there is never the destination.
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What if one day I can no longer commit to RBKD or be as useful? I will think about it carefully and when I’m required to, I will make the best choice I could offer. Nope, I’m not leaving yet.
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Is it good for me to be truthful to you? I don’t know.
But I don’t think it is good when I stop being truthful to you; because that means I have given up on you.
I won’t lie to someone who doesn’t matter, simply because they are not worth it.
Similarly, I see no point to reveal the truth deliberately should you be no longer worthy of it.
If being truthful hurts, I wonder if it would hurt more should someone stop being truthful to you?
What do you guys think? I’m pretty random isn’t it?
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What if one day I wake up and forget about everything, including you and you and.. who I am. Ever wondered about this?
What does National Day means to you?
Donning red tops, hanging flags or reciting the pledge?
I’m never a NDP person, my closest involvements remained 1. the compulsory P5-er’s NDP experience, 2. when I was ran on the fields of the pre-parade back in Sec1 days and 3. when I went for the rehearsal which never gave any funpack or fired any fireworks.
Those talks about propaganda and soft deterrence, I shall skip on that. But even if you were never in that hotter-than-hot audience seat during each 9th August like myself, don’t you feel momentarily overwhelmed when the nation comes to a still each time the “Majulah Singapura” is played? The proud faces of people who probably last sang the National Anthem some decades ago?
To wear red and to sing aloud “Majulah Singapura” with thousands of red warriors, it’s a fantastic feeling isn’t it? So no wonder even if I don’t follow soccer, I like to do down to the Kallang National Stadium (as long as its not charging exorbitant fees for exhibition matches) in red to support our Lions especially in ASEAN Cup. Honestly, it feels more NDP than NDP there. After all, you do need to be part of the kallang wave to understand what is a kallang wave :)
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Now, I have stuff to write but no energy to type.
Tomorrow, I will have the energy to type but no stuff to write.
I doubt I will remember what I wanna type, but this is life isn’t it? It takes both hands to clap, but while in your heart you wanna give your loudest clap, sometimes one of your hands has to be “unavailable”.
So you will hear a clap when both my hands are available, and when I remember to clap that is… Haha.
You make a comment because that’s what you feel, that’s what you wanna say. It’s not because you are XXX or YYY or ZZZ that makes you want to have such a comment, although at times, your “identity” might force you to see a need to post a comment when in fact, the “identity-less” you may not feel necessary.
So often, I just wanna post this, I just wanna post that, but most of the time, I will just click “ctrl+A” and then “delete”. Why? Because people will see me as RBKD’s President, because people will see me as a RE’s fan. I am just myself, I don’t always have to represent everyone, every fan of RE’s; I rather take back my words than to make my words yours. Because it’s plain simple, it’s MY words not YOUR words that I’m typing.
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Theoretically speaking, if I wanna be See Me Not, then I should not use that as my nick lest everyone recognises that. Yet it seems to suggest that I’m not “See Me Not” when my nick doesn’t display that.
Noticed the recent nick changing craze in forum? I believe I’m the culprit of it all. Now, am I going to change back my nick any time soon? I honestly have no answer to that. It seems to me that deep down somewhere, changing back to “See Me Not” might imply my determination to “disappear” (from the forum/msn at least), that is to say, to be truly See Me Not. For now I’m not disappearing yet, so we will leave the nick as that and see how it goes.
If you were to take flight one day, who would be your companion(s)? Where would you head to? How would you do so? What would you bring along, or leave behind? When would it be?
I have a promise to keep, that’s why I’m still stuck here this Summer. People are telling me to just pack my bags and go, people are ready to pack theirs and hop along, but there are those who urged caution, and others who are oblivious. When my promise expires, I’ll be out of town right away. I won’t turn back.
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Ever wondered if you truly understood this blog? Maybe I was “talking” to you, maybe I wasn’t. Maybe it meant something, maybe it didn’t. Perhaps you could understand if you know of the full picture, but the problem is, you know that it would never be revealed here. Because if it does, then it’s no longer See Me Not. Makes sense? Nevermind if you can’t understand, because maybe I never did too.
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I guess I’m a little overwhelmed recently? I read mentions of my name in the forum and even in some of your blogs, extremely weird but I can’t exactly explain why. Unexpected influx of praises to the President/Comm is catching me off guard; never expected myself to be referred to as the President, even if it’s just at the club’s level. It’s especially nice to know there are so many of you who are supportive of us, it warms my heart to know about this. Each message/email you guys wrote to us is like a hot cuppa drink in the wintery surrounding. Whatever happens, it’s nice to know that we left footprints on your path. It’s really nice to know that ;)
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BTW do you guys understand what’s J.R. Nathan? Do you all know who’s our President? And your (FC) President? And Sr = Senior, Jr = Junior? So now you understand the whole thing about J.R. Nathan? It’s meant to tease you guys for calling me President la.. Haha.
As for why am I the Sleeping Exhibit #1? Imagine waking up to pairs of eyes staring and observing you. Worse when you hear your name repeated for the uncountable times while you are still lying there pretending to be asleep. Goodness we were “exhibits” in a “museum”, not in a “zoo”; if not there would be camera flashes and photographs posted everywhere.
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This is not healthy, absolutely not. I thought at the very least, I had that very last reminder, that very last motivation. Something that always worked in the past, it doesn’t now, not at all, not for a single second did it work this time round. I’m worried, very worried. I don’t want to decide now, or to commit to one now, because if I do, there’s no return. I don’t want this to happen either, but I’m not sure if I could stop it, if I could stop it, really. Where the hell is the reminder that is good enough to convince me now? Please, I need it. Please, I really need it. Please.
Sometimes.. we really need to know that you.. you guys appreciate us.
Sometimes.. we really need to know that you.. you guys do try to understand us.
Sometimes.. we really need to know that you.. you guys recognises our effort.
Sometimes.. we really need to know that you.. you guys will stand by us.
Sometimes.. we really need to know that you.. you guys are on the same line as us.
Sometimes.. we really need to know that you.. you guys still want us.
No one is indispensible in the world, no one, definitely not us. But can we don’t be made to feel that we are so dispensible? Sometimes I don’t just feel dispensible, I feel redundant, so redundant, absolutely redundant.
That was so unnecessary.
I didn’t plan to have the so-called “President’s talk”, as what you guys termed it (it still feels so weird weird weird when you all refers me as the President.. hai shi bu xi guan..) Ya.. anyway that was not on my planned agenda.. All along I only wanted to say this line (in the end I didn’t get to say it),
“I hope that in future, no matter who is the Leader of RBKD, the Summer Chalet would be a regular annual affair. I would like to see it as a tradition for RBKD.”
But I guess after yesternight, I’m no longer keen to be the organiser anymore.
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That was my question for truth-or-dare at the chalet. Honestly, I have no answer. Maybe I do, but maybe I don’t.
Your idol is a very nice person, honest. But I guess I just can’t be as friendly to her as to you guys; even though I still think that I’m never a friendly person to begin with..
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Someone made me smile, but it’s not your idol. You know who you are, thank you.
I guess it’s always nice and even comforting to know that there is someone who is supportive of you, someone who recognises and acknowledges your effort, and someone who is actually appreciative of you.
Because my assumptions have proven to be so wrong, I have chosen to assume nothing, and hence I know nothing unless I’m told. I prefer to be told, in words, in sincere words.
Thanks to those who did :D
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Now you all know how many screws drop when Snail has insufficient sleep? Crazy me blogging here like siao.
Anyway, I swear that I was being truthful when I spoke to you guys after you-know-who left. It was an unusual Heart-To-Heart talk, rare too, considering I am See Me Not. It was me and everyone, nothing planned, nothing rehearsed or arranged. I let you in about the secrets I had so carefully guarded for some time, I hope my trust will not be misplaced.
Yes, I trust you.
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